Between Who I Was and Who I’m Becoming
I’ve been thinking a lot about who I used to be. Not in a sad way. Not in an “I want her back” kind of way.
Just in a quiet, noticing kind of way.
The kind where you realize you’ve changed, and you don’t fully recognize yourself anymore — but you also don’t want to go backward.
It’s a strange space to be in. Not who you were. Not fully who you’re becoming either.
Just… in between.
Outgrowing the Familiar
I can still see parts of my old self so clearly. The way I moved through life. The things I tolerated. The version of me who didn’t pause as much.
She felt familiar. But now?
She feels distant. Not in a bad way. More in an “I’ve outgrown this” kind of way.
And I think that’s the uncomfortable part of growth that no one really talks about. Growth doesn’t always feel exciting. Sometimes it just feels like letting go of who you used to be without fully knowing who you are yet.
The Quiet Shifts
I’ve started noticing the changes in small ways. The things I no longer entertain. The way I pause before responding. The way I’m learning to choose myself differently.
It’s subtle. But it’s real.
And sometimes the smallest shifts end up changing us the most.
Missing Who I Was — But Not Wanting to Go Back
There are moments when I miss the simplicity of who I used to be. Not because she was better.
But because she didn’t know what I know now. And sometimes, that felt easier. There’s a certain innocence in not yet seeing patterns, boundaries, or truths clearly. But I can’t go backwards.
Even when this in-between space feels uncomfortable, I know I’m not meant to.
The Only Person We Can Change
It takes work to grow. And one thing I’ve been learning is that we can’t change other people — no matter how much we hope our behavior might inspire them to shift. People are going to do what they do.
We’re the only ones we can control. And I think that realization is part of this in-between space, too. I’m not trying to return to who I was. And I’m not waiting for someone else to change before I allow myself to move forward either.
I’m just… changing. Quietly. Slowly. Honestly.
Maybe This Is What Becoming Looks Like
Maybe becoming isn’t one huge transformation all at once. Maybe it’s a series of quiet shifts.
A slow unfolding. A gradual release of old versions of yourself that no longer fit. And maybe the goal isn’t to rush out of this in-between space.
Maybe the goal is to trust that even here — in the uncertainty, in the discomfort, in the unfolding — I’m still becoming.
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